Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Say something about gay babies.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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