I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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