At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
