Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
