she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
