trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
