? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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