Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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