he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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