i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
