just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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