just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize
