She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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