I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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