The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
she smelled like a LAN party
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
