just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
