sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize