So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize
