i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
