Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
