"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
There's always time for handjobs
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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