I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
