I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
