Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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