After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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