what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
