i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
