that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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