i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Sober January is a disaster.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
They have beer where we have blood.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
