she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
