for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
