I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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