just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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