His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
