It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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