You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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