I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
