Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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