Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Its about making memories worth repressing
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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