just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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