We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
