i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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