nut hugger
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i permit you to call me
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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