Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
