The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Say something about gay babies.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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