i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
