You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
This is the high leading the old right now
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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