He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
