The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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