k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I want her autograph on my taint
your like the ambassador to my penis.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
