When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
