**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
