totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I need to calm my uterus...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
