Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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