Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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