i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize