i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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