That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize