I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
