do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
