How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
