And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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