people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
