can we get nightvision for the apartment?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize