Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
