Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I came so hard my ears popped.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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