Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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