So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
