This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
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