Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
