idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
