Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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