As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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