I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
