i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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