Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Dear god my vagina.
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