fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
