Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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