That's intense
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
