I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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