Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize