So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
