We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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