Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
